Life is sweet. No, it isn't perfect. But right now feels pretty good. I'm not trying to convey the idea that falling in love is the ultimate solution. Rather, my eyes are open, and, aside from the people I love, everything seems so meager. A few months ago, I found myself blessed with love. After the initial burst, however, I allowed depression to continue to damage my life. Without a job, I had too much free time to myself. Spending time alone caused my brain to illogically reason the most trivial aspects of my life, to an extremity in which I could no longer enjoy it. I went to school, came home, and waited for people to call me or need me, which of course wasn't often. Maybe there's such a thing as thinking too much. Anyways, I then decided to enroll in 18 units for spring semester. I figured, "Everybody's too busy for me, so I'm going to be busy too. That will show them." Unfortunately, I don't like classes that do not relate to my major, and thus I became unmotivated. That was on top of feeling morose and insignificant. That's not a way to live, and there's so much more to live for...
Enjoying time alone is important. That is why, instead of doing homework (which is important too, but not really) I decided that relaxing in front of the Montel show was just as, if not more important. I also began reading again, and not those assigned essays for English Comp. Yesterday I began Kafka on the Shore. This semester almost made me forget how good reading can feel. Especially Murakami. Also, I read about a good idea at the doctor's office- If you are feeling depressed, do something nice for someone else. That's an amazing concept. And it works.
After a while, watching television all day after morning classes didn't seem so great. That's why I got a new job, and I start shadowing tomorrow. I'm going to be a behavior therapist for children challenged with autism. I got assigned 2 cases already, a 4 year old and a 7 year old, both boys. And I'm nervous. But happy. My Tuesdays and Thursdays will actually have purpose to them. Playing with kids and getting paid for it? 13$/hr, too. No, but really, I'm nervous.
Amiina is playing in April. !!! And I got tickets for Sondre next week. Something else to look forward to.( survey in place of statistics homeworkCollapse )
"The world is a huge space, but the space that will take you in- and it doesn't have to be very big, is nowhere to be found. You seek a voice, but what do you get? Silence. You look for silence, but guess what? All you hear over and over and over is the voice of this omen. And sometimes this prophetic voice pushes a secret switch hidden deep inside your brain." -Murakami.