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Jun. 11th, 2007

gloomy.

Hullo

New photo journal and blog-
http://www.virb.com/amina

Jun. 3rd, 2007

creepy.

Maybe there’s a world that I’m still to find

Here's to another late night. I'm taking a new direction. No more obsessing over my own trivial worries and stresses, or minimizing the needs of others. Time to strive towards my utmost for his highest. (I'm recording this for my own motivation but feel free to utilize my vague thoughts.)

God is the Light Everlasting
God is the Light Everlasting
God is the Light Everlasting
God is the Light Everlasting.

May. 16th, 2007

gloomy.

Turkish Delights

I love 'em.

May. 12th, 2007

creepy.

One night to be confused, One night to speed up truth.

Last night- HS@MC Prom. My date was the DJ. And my other best friend too. It was a great time anyways. The night included promiscuous humping, dancing with all my best friends and their dates, more humping, doing the sloth dance with Mr. Potts, and eating cheese and crackers even though they started to smell really bad after the room became hot and sweaty. Wes and I got those corny professional prom pictures taken. =D I woke up this morning with a terribly painful foot and I don't know why. Too much dancing.
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May. 5th, 2007

gloomy.

(no subject)

Today Wes, Kaitlyn, and I went to the pool. It was fun. Wes says the only good thing to come from the 90's was the "thumbs up" sign. ("Come" meaning its popularity, not its origin).
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May. 1st, 2007

gloomy.

Swim suit fetish.

Most intense Ebay bid of my life.
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Apr. 29th, 2007

gloomy.

There are still places where magic can breathe.

Happy weekend. =D Included art show and cafe 101 with friends, staying up late with my baby, the museum of television and radio + Westwood with my baby, late night movie (aka falling asleep at Daniel's even during Children of Men)& beach today with Kady and Steph. I finally finished my case study and portfolio but i still have some statistics to do, and I should finish up an essay for english, oh well.

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Apr. 16th, 2007

gloomy.

Nothing like an empty smile, makes me feel so contrived.

"There's a schizoid quality to our relationship with animals, in which sentiment and brutality exist side by side. Half the dogs in America will receive Christmas presents this year, yet few of us pause to consider the miserable life of the pig- an animal easily as intelligent as a dog- that becomes the Christmas ham."

Even if you like meat, you can help end this cruelty. If everyone just cut their meat consumption in half, billions of animals would be spared from suffering.

New resolution: Back to the vegetable lifestyle. I did it for two years and it was pretty damn easy. The only difficult part was staying relatively healthy with all my blood complications. I'm going to try harder this time. I need protein, so I have free-range chicken eggs now (a little costly but not compared to the costs of meat), and I'm going to continue to eat fish because it's healthy and fish farming is relatively humane and natural compared to the meat industry. I plan on buying more spinach and as well as taking those iron supplements again. I'm happy, and looking forward to being healthier and making a small difference. If you think vegetarians don't make any substantial impact, rethink. By avoiding the meat of just chickens, turkeys, and pigs, one person alone can prevent the suffering of more than 2000 animals in one lifetime.

I'm beginning to realize (and recall) that being around large groups of people is not very fun or entertaining. Reuniting with people who I rarely think about and who in turn rarely think about me gives me a sickening feeling. I don't want to deal with people anymore. I have my love, my few close friends, and my family. This small group of people are the only ones who contribute any substance in my life. The rest constitute a false sense of security; it's really just loneliness mistaken for security. I'm ready to leave it behind.

Highlight of my weekend: On friday, I went with Wes and Daniel to the Amiina show, and it was incredible. Watching these four beautiful girls play saws with violin bows and manipulate the hymns of crystal glasses... wow. I sort of like my name now.

I'm leaving in a few minutes to play with my favourite four year old. Words can not express how amazing my job is. These 3 little redheads have already revealed to me the most radiant corners of life.

Mar. 15th, 2007

gloomy.

I'm allowed to be a girl for once.

I got tickets to the Tyra Banks Show !!!!!!!!! YAYYYYY TYRA.

Mar. 13th, 2007

gloomy.

A Mechanism Buried Inside of You.

"The world is a huge space, but the space that will take you in- and it doesn't have to be very big, is nowhere to be found. You seek a voice, but what do you get? Silence. You look for silence, but guess what? All you hear over and over and over is the voice of this omen. And sometimes this prophetic voice pushes a secret switch hidden deep inside your brain." -Murakami.

Life is sweet. No, it isn't perfect. But right now feels pretty good. I'm not trying to convey the idea that falling in love is the ultimate solution. Rather, my eyes are open, and, aside from the people I love, everything seems so meager. A few months ago, I found myself blessed with love. After the initial burst, however, I allowed depression to continue to damage my life. Without a job, I had too much free time to myself. Spending time alone caused my brain to illogically reason the most trivial aspects of my life, to an extremity in which I could no longer enjoy it. I went to school, came home, and waited for people to call me or need me, which of course wasn't often. Maybe there's such a thing as thinking too much. Anyways, I then decided to enroll in 18 units for spring semester. I figured, "Everybody's too busy for me, so I'm going to be busy too. That will show them." Unfortunately, I don't like classes that do not relate to my major, and thus I became unmotivated. That was on top of feeling morose and insignificant. That's not a way to live, and there's so much more to live for...

Enjoying time alone is important. That is why, instead of doing homework (which is important too, but not really) I decided that relaxing in front of the Montel show was just as, if not more important. I also began reading again, and not those assigned essays for English Comp. Yesterday I began Kafka on the Shore. This semester almost made me forget how good reading can feel. Especially Murakami. Also, I read about a good idea at the doctor's office- If you are feeling depressed, do something nice for someone else. That's an amazing concept. And it works.

After a while, watching television all day after morning classes didn't seem so great. That's why I got a new job, and I start shadowing tomorrow. I'm going to be a behavior therapist for children challenged with autism. I got assigned 2 cases already, a 4 year old and a 7 year old, both boys. And I'm nervous. But happy. My Tuesdays and Thursdays will actually have purpose to them. Playing with kids and getting paid for it? 13$/hr, too. No, but really, I'm nervous.

Amiina is playing in April. !!! And I got tickets for Sondre next week. Something else to look forward to.

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